The Weather Is Quite Delightful
I’m having some time off over Christmas. Me and my Donna are off to St. Barth in the Caribbean for two weeks. St. Barth is where the likes of Beyonce and Johnny Depp spend their Christmases, apparently.
I quite like Beyonce; she’s got a great body - especially in the upstairs department - and isn’t half a bad singer, too . . . for a girl.
I have to be careful what I say here because my Donna has fallen out with me over the things I keep writing about how I fancy some of these sexy pop stars and that. I told her I can’t help it; it’s a biological imperative. (I read that in a magazine.) I don’t think she’s very happy with me. She’s suggested that we have one of those open relationships. That wouldn’t work for me, I told her. I’m treating her to this holiday to try to make amends and patch our relationship up. She’ll be happy with a Caribbean holiday - you know what women are like.
I don’t like Johnny Depp; he’s got a face like a neutered chihuahua licking p*ss off a nettle.
Tags: Beyonce, Caribbean, Christmas, Johnny Depp, Relationships, St. Barth, Women